I have always prided myself in being a change on a whim type of person. I joke with Writer that he should feel lucky. He is literally the only thing I have never quit on. Almost 25 years married now…I think we are gonna make it. That being said…#goals are something that I have never really stuck with.
Weight loss and improved health have been my #goals on New Years for as far back as I remember. I have been about 30 pounds over the weight I was when I got married for awhile now. I know, I know you may say that was 25 years ago…but It haunts me.
I lost a LOT of weight a few years ago…I just stopped eating really. I didn’t work out at ALL. Not one extra step…just didn’t eat much. at all…and Yes, the weight came off. I loved how I looked but hated how I felt. The minute I started putting real food in my mouth the weight came back on and quick. I felt worn down, and unhealthy.
In July of 2014 I began working out with a trainer. It was a great luxury. I had always hated working out and literally she laughed at me the first day trying to even teach me HOW to do a burpee. But, I did it. Never missing. 2 days a week for 10 months. She left for maternity leave and I jumped on a scale. ( I hadn’t weighed myself hardly at all during that time) I was working out and surely losing weight. My body was changing for sure. I had muscles where I had never had them and generally was liking how I looked. But, I had lost NO weight. None. In 11 months. None. It was crushing. My trainer went on maternity leave and I went back to not working out. I felt like “screw it” too hard. I didn’t think much about what I ate.
I coasted thru the rest of 2015 not really focusing much on it all and when I look at pictures now I can tell. I looked puffy and generally unhappy. Our family had been going thru a high stress time personally and It showed on my face, in my smile and certainly on my weight. At that point really the only thing new I had done for my health was make a commitment to not drinking diet sodas. I stopped in August of 2015. Not one since then.
So, it brings me to now. New year, new #goals. This time I am making it public. I have been wearing my new fitbit everyday. Looking at “health” as not a number on a scale but an over all well being. It is HARD, really hard. It is frustrating. Really frustrating. But, it is one step after the other. Every week I am making a new healthy goal for that week. I hope the weight begins to go down as well….so far it hasn’t showed much improvement.
I walked an insane 9 miles a day for 7 days last week and NOTHING. Not one drop in the scale. I did see a 1.4 pound decrease in body fat. I know that is the most important. But, WOW so hard. I am taking 10,000 iu of Vitamin D per day to help ward off winter blues, and attempting to get more sleep, eating more of the good stuff and less of the not.
Steps. baby steps, every day. some times many baby steps in a day…but I am gonna get there…a path to better health….and surely one day that will show up on the scale as well.