40

it is coming and it is big…i have known it was on the horizon for a few years now and just pushed it away from my mind, it is just another number i would tell myself, just another birthday, no big deal…but here it is breathing down my neck, it causes pause, it causes reflection….i have gone thru a series of emotions regarding this number and i have come to this conclusion, that it is not that i am so sad over being this age it is that 40 years have gone and they have been great…mostly i think of the last 10 years, they were the absolute best. my sweet Writer had a party for me on my 30th, i was so very sad…we had tried for several years to get pregnant and had no luck, i was feeling “old” (which is laughable to me now, i hope I feel that same way in 10 more years about this event in my life) anyway, I was turning 30 and the worst part, i was not a mother…my darling did the best he could to cheer me up…then the Maker gave us the biggest surprise…just a few four months later we were at the hospital waiting on the arrival of our oldest son…the next 10 years have flown by…four miracles…travels, awards….life…we have had a blast…that is what i realized has made me sad…that the last 10 years went by so fast….so as i am standing on the cusp of a new decade i want to slow it all down, soak it in…live in the moment…and like my oldest (and so wise son) told me the other day “mom, don’t worry about turning 40…now people will just respect you more” that made me laugh, but seriously…don’t ask me if i would choose youth or respect…i will just take what i can get!